Operation - Blog Resurrection

Its been eons since I came this side. Life has changed a lot I haven't written in a while. I have felt uninspired...actually that would be a wrong word....I was just caught in the world around me with absolutely no time to reflect. There have been times in the last year where I have felt disconnected from the world, society, people around me, times when I have just felt like running away from everything. I needed faith, I needed something that I could close my eyes and focus on.

But now I am back... and hope to keep this blog alive

The Destiny called Draupadi

As I read through another Mahabharata, I keep thinking to myself how Draupadi was created just to fuel the cleansing of the Earth at the cusp of the ages.

To begin with she was not born, she appeared from the fire of a yagna. King Drupada had just been humiliated by Dronacharya. He was defeated and captured by Arjuna at the direction of Drona. King Drupada came back to Panchala and conducted a massive yagna to beget a son who would kill Drona and a daughter who would marry Arjuna. And so there she was...Draupadi, born to marry the handsome Arjuna.

But, fate had something else in store for Draupadi. Draupadi was a dark and ethereal beauty who no man could resist. When the Pandavas saw her at her svayamvara, they all wanted her. Even so many kings and princes of Bharatvarsha, including Kuru prince Duryodhana and King of Anga, Karna. Draupadi's purpose in life was accomplished when Arjuna pierced the eye of the revolving fish, disguised as a brahmin. The Pandavas brought her home to Ekcharka to their mother and presented Draupadi as bhiksha. Kunti, their mother asked them to divide it among themselves. Kunti grew very worried when she saw Draupadi and realized what she had just uttered. But, Krishna appears and tells them how Draupadi in her previous birth had asked Lord Shiva for a husband and had repeated "husband" five times in her boon.

At her svayamvara, Draupadi refuses to accept sutaputra Karna and spurns him. This incident remained embedded in Karna's memory when he did what he did at the dice game.

After receiving Khadavprastha from their uncle, the Pandavas with the help of Krishna, transformed it into Indraprastha. The danava Maya built a Maya Sabha for them there. Maya Sabha was built such that it read the mind of people that came to see the sabha and if they were envious, the sabha would conjure up tricks which would confuse them. One day, after the Rajasuya yagna, Duryodhana entered the Maya Sabha and looked at it full of envy. As he stepped in, he lifted his garment to cross what he thought was a puddle of water but it tuned out to be a hard floor. A little further down he walked into a pool of water when he thought it was hard ground. Seeing the Kuru prince drenched, Draupadi laughed out loud. Duryodhana was seething with anger and stormed out of the place.

All these led to the dice game and Draupadi being humiliated in the Kuru sabha. Karna and Duryodhana never forgot the insults handed to them by Draupadi and took advantage of the dice game. For Draupadi, Bheema and Arjuna took the vows they took.
Once, during the exile, when Draupadi was alone, Jayadratha, the king of Sindhu and brother-in-law of Duryodhana saw Draupadi and could resist her. He caught hold of her and carried her away. On his way he was caught by the Pandavas and they punished him by shaving his head off. Unable to bear the insult he performed a rigorous penance and obtained a boon such that he would be able to defeat all the Pandavas except Arjuna in battle for a day. This he used on the day when the Kauravas treacherously killed Abhimanyu.

These and many other incidents, make Draupadi THE reason for the Mahabharata war. She was the Lord's Maya that illusioned the demonic forces and together, Krishna and Krishnaa (Draupadi was called so because of her complexion) rid the Earth of her burden.

Spiritual Evolution

The root of this discussion was during a session we had on spiritual leadership. I am surprised ...... Why have we come to the point that we think ethical leadership is innovative or radical? Isn't it something that should come naturally? Weren't we born to be ethical? Why should we have a lecture on this? And besides .... what is the new fad that "I have guru" and "my life changed after I met my guru"?
I believe these gurus are doing a decent job of at least getting people aware of the essence of life. One could agrue that most of these spiritual teachings are more about day to day living and really do not lead to moksha. Then what is so spiritual about these teachings? But then remember all humans (or for that matter creatures) are in different stages of spiritual evolution.
As I see it there are 3 stages of spiritual evolution -
1. Regular dialogue between two atmas - Here you accept that you are the soul and not the body. This awareness is essential before u emabark on the path to self realization. The dialogue happens between two people.
2. Dialogue between the atma and the perceived parmatma - Now you find a guru whom you look upon as parmatma. You get closer to the "Truth" if you would like to call. But according to me at this point too, the guru is an atma who probably is closer to the parmatma.
3. The last and the most diffcult part is realization that atma and parmatma are the same. Now the dialogue is more internal and you are well on the path to self realization. I do not know where it ends.....
These are purely my thoughts and I consider myself very low on the spiritual evolution path. It may also seem to be an oversimplified path to self realization. Again I am no expert. And of course I do not subscribe to any school of thought. I am after all a free spirit in this vast universe that was created just for me to question and find answers naturally!

7 1/2 years of Shani

Ok sorry for the long time between posts, I have been plain lazy and besides, I have reached a stage of saturation.
Coming to my post, I have been reading a lot of astrology on the web. I find that the most dreadful thing, according to astrology, is the 7 1/2 year cycle of Shani (Saturn). And yes you have guessed it, I am right in the middle of this action.
Shani is one of the Devas (gods). He is the son of Surya (Sun) and his wife Chhaya(Shadow). Shani is known as the greatest teacher .
During the 7 1/2 years of Shani we get resuts as per our past Karma. In an individual's average lifespan, this 7 1/2 year cycle will come 3 times. Shani can be both good and bad. In an individual horoscope, not only the house in which the planet is placed will be affected, but also the houses Shani lords over (2) and the 3rd and 10th houses from where Shani is placed will be affected. So this gives us 5 areas in our lives that may be affected during the 7 1/2 years of Shani.
I believe that Shani helps set our expectations right and keeps our feet firmly on the ground. People with a lot Shani influence are the ones that come up in life after a good long fight. According to astrology, Saturn never denies god things, it only delays. It delays so that we can adjust our expectations. It gives us time to become patient. Saturn certainly makes us more tolerant. We realize that everything related to this world is bound to change. Nothing is certain in life.
Once these lessons are learnt, Saturn starts giving. We get all that we ever wanted but now we are wiser and know the brevity of our life experiences.
So as the saying goes "This time will also pass!" So yes, there is an end to this time tunnel and also light at the end of the tunnel!

Yudhishtira's Final Journey - Part 1

Mahabharata the greatest epic has a befitting end.

After the war, the Pandavas rule the land for many years.When kaliyuga set in, Krishna went back to his abode in the high heavens. Seeing this the Pandavas crowned Parikshit as the king and went to on their final journey.

On their way, the Pandavas passed many a plains and mountains. During this time a dog joined them. They had just crossed the Himalayas and were proceeding towards Mount Meru. Just then Draupadi fell to the ground. Bhima asked Yudishtira why Draupadi, inspite for of following dharma throughout her life, fell dead. Yudishtira replied that Draupadi was greatly partial to Arjuna and that was her one sin that caused her to die.

Next to fall down dead was Sahadeva. Yudishtira said that Sahadeva thought that there was no one as wise as him. When Nakula fell,Yudishtira said that Nakula thought he was the most handsome man and that brought about his fall.

Then the greatest hero Arjuna fell. Yudishtira said that Arjuna had boasted before the war that he would single handedly kill each and everyone of his enemies. This Arjuna did not accomplish and had to die.

A dieing Bhima asked Yudishtira his fault. Yudishtira replied that Bhima ate too much, was proud of his strength and hated his enemies and these were the reasons he had to die.

Now only Yudishtira and the dog remained. They continued their journey up the mountain. Suddenly, the mountain was lit up by an uneartly glow.Indra, the king of Gods, had come with his chariot to take Yudishtira to the heaven. Indra told Yudishtira that the Gods were pleased with his honesty and adherence to Dharma and were letting him come to heaven in his mortal body. The dog that came this far with Yudishtira, follwed him into Indra's chariot. Indra would not allow the dog to go heaven. But Yudishtira was firm and insisted that unless the dog was allowed to go with him he would not come. Indra was pleased with Yudishtira and allowed the dog. Immediately Lord Dharma, who was in the form of the dog till then, appeared before Yudishtira. He was very happy with his son, Yudishtira who even in this situation refused to give up his dharma. Then they all ascended to the heavens above....

Karna -1

I have tried to write this post a couple of times in the past. Everytime I sit down to write, something happens and I discard the draft. So here is my third attempt....

The one story that makes me sad everytime I read is the story of Karna. He had such good luck but everytime lady luck smiled at him something went wrong.

Karna was the son of the Sun God and Kunti. He was born with a kavacha (divine armour) and kundala (divine earings). These made him immortal. He looked bright and handsome as the Sun God himself. But his mother, Kunti abandoned him to save herself from infamy. She set Karna afloat in a wooden box on the Ganga. This was the beginning of his cursed life.

The box with the child was found by Athiratha, a charioteer. Athiratha and his wife, Radha did not have any children of their own. They were more than happy to find this infant. They named the child Radheya. When Radheya was sixteen, he decided that he did not want to become a charioteer. He wanted to learn archery. He told his mother, Radha, about his desire. Radha then revealed to him that, he was not her son. She gave him permission to leave and go on his quest in search of knowledge in archery.

Radheya met many rishis and experts in archery. But no one was willing to teach a suthputra (Athiratha was born of a brahmin and kshatriya so was a suth) archery. Finally, Radheya met Bhargava (Parasurama) and fell at his feet and begged him to teach him archery. Radheya told Bhargava that he was a brahmin, a lie that would cost him his life.

Bhargava was very fond of Radheya and taught him everything he knew. One day Radheya was attending to Bhargava. It was noon time and it was hot. Bhargava felt tired and wanted to rest. Radheya offered his lap for his guru to lie down on. Bhargava was pleased and accepted it. Just as Bhargava went into deep sleep, an insect bit Radheya. The bite was so deep that the pain was immense and blood gushed out. Radheya bore the pain so as to not wake his guru up. But, the blood that flowed out, reached Bhargava's ear and woke him up.

Bhargava was shocked to see what happened. Immediately he realized that Radheya had lied to him. Only a kshatriya could bear the pain that Radheya bore. He pronounced a curse of Radheya that when the most important moment of his life came, Radheya would forget all that his guru taught him.

Radheya was distraught. He bowed silently and went away. Cursed by his guru, he had nothing left in this world. Misfortunes don't come single. As Radheya walked on the banks of Ganga thinking about what happened, something flashed in front of his eyes. He thought it was a deer and shot an arrow. When he went near he saw that he had killed a brahmin's cow. The brahmin immediately cursed Radheya, that when he will fight the most important battle in his life, the wheel of his chariot would get stuck in the earth and at that time he will lose his life.

Radheya could not help the curses. He felt that he was at the mercy of Fate. Fate is more powerful that anything in this world...

Itsy Bitsy Spider

"The Itsy Bitsy spider went up the water spout,

Down came the rain and washed the spider out,

Out came the sun and dried up all the rain,

And the Itsy Bitsy spider went up the spout again"

I have sung this song so many times in the last 3 years. But today as I stop and think, I see a deeper meaning here. This rhyme has the same lesson as the story "Bruce and the Spider" Robert Bruce was the king of Scotland. He had been defeated by the English six times. After the sixth defeat, Bruce escaped and found a hideout in a cave. Bruce was very disappointed with life. He thought about leaving the country and never coming back.

One day, he watched a spider building a web at the cave's entrance. The spider fell down time after time, but finally he succeeded with his web. So Bruce decided also to go back and fight the English once more, And this time he succeeded!

So also the Itsy Bitsy spider, climbed the spout. Circumstances, in this case rain, pushed Itsy Bitsy back. But Itsy Bitsy didn't give up. It waited till the sun came out. It waited, waited for the right oppurtunity to climb the spout again!!!

Time

It has been more than 2 months since the last post. If you are wondering what I was upto in this time, I would probably say - "Nothing really!!". No major events in life...just the regular - wake up, get through the day and sleep. Plain survival.

Anyway, it is 6:13pm on a Friday evening on the 8th day of May. As I complete the last sentence, another minute of my life has passed. I am older by a minute. I did not do much in the last minute other than pen (errr type) down my thoughts.

Rudyard Kipling once said (in his famous poen -'If') -

"If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!"

It is impossible for to fill each "unforgiving" minute of life .... that I guess is the reason why we cherish some moments. They are those minutes where we did actually make it across the finish line. They are those minutes that we lived our lives. Having said that, I think I have filled the last few minutes of my life writing this post...it will remain in the cyber world for many many years...just like the mosquito that lay in the fossil in Jurassic Park! (ok bad joke I guess)

P.S - I am not sure about posting this post, but to keep my blog alive I am posting it.

Who wants to be a Millionaire?

This post is dedicated to my DH who is a huge fan of "Slumdog Millionaire" .

Jamal Malik is one question away from winning 20 million rupees, how did he do it?
A) He cheated
B) He’s lucky
C) He’s a genius
D) It is written

Answer: D) It is written

Throughout the movie, "Slumdog Millionaire" we follow Jamal Malik through his life and how each incident in his life held the answer to one of the questions on "Who wants to be a millionaire?"

I have been reading this book called "Outliers" by Malcolm Gladwell. It takes an interesting look at successful people. The author says that people are successful not only because they are brilliant or skillful but also because of the circumstances they live in. For eg. Bill Gates is brilliant but he also owes his success to his parentage. His parents were wealthy enough to send him to private school with computer access. He went to school at a time the computer revolution was just beginning. So Bill Gates was born in the right year!

The author Malcolm Gladwell gives a few more examples of people born in the same era and how they were the right people, at the right place, at the right time.

The movie "Slumdog Millionaire" and the book "Outliers" have the same theme! Whatever we do in life, unless it is "written" we won't achieve anything.

One year....

Wow! I manged to keep my blog alive for a year. Thanks to all my regular visitors....and my father and sister who leave regular comments!

He said...She said....

One of my favorite songs starts off like:

Kuch To Log Kahenge
Logon Ka Kaam Hai Kehna
Chhodo Bekaar Ki Baaton Mein
Kahin Beet Na Jaaye Raina

This song is from the film "Amar Prem", sung by Kishore Kumar and penned by Anand Bakshi. It simple means:

People will always say something
This is people's occupation
Let go of this useless talk
Else this night will pass

Not just this night, our entire lives pass by thinking of what others think about us. We give undue importance to society. Why should society decide what is right and wrong? Lay the rules yourself and live by them. Do not force others to abide by your rules. And there is no need to follow other people's rules unless they really care about you.

We come alone to this world and will die alone ....so live your life as you wish, and just remember that at the end of this life, the only person you have to answer to is God!

Dharma

Each cycle of life on earth consists of four yugas - Krita, Treta, Dwapara and Kali. We are right now in Kaliyuga at the end of which life on earth will be destroyed. In this yuga, the earth is meant to suffer. There is an interesting story about the Kaliyuga.

Towards the end of the Dwapara yuga, King Parikshit was wandering around the world. At one place, he saw a bull, with one leg, being beaten by a man in a king's attire. One enquiry, the King found out that the bull was none other than "Dharma". In the Krita yuga(the first yuga), the bull had four legs namely - austerity (tapas), purity (soucham), mercy (daya) and truth (satya). In the Treta Yuga, it lost one leg and supported itself on 3 legs. In Dwapara Yuga as Dharma degenerated, the bull lost another leg, but somehow managed to survive on just 2 legs. When Kaliyuga began, the bull, was left with only one leg. Kali in a king's attire was beating the this bull to get rid of its only leg - truth.

King Parikshit took pity at the bull and managed to drive Kali away. But Kali could not be killed. He went into hiding to come back in full strenght when Kali yuga set in.

As Kali Yuga advanced, even the single leg was lost and the bull just exists breathing and vegetating in its struggle for life having lost all Dharma that once sustained it.

In this Kaliyuga, lies and deceit stand tall. The only form of power is wealth. There is no value for human feelings. A truthful person is trampled upon by everyone. The only thing we can do is recite God's name and let Him guide us!

I have a dream....

"I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream." - Martin Luther King Jr.

You would have heard "great people" say that unless you dream you cannot achieve anything in life. But one thing that everyone forgets to mention is that not everyone can have a dream. For the majority of us it is really a waste of time to dream. We are better off doing things that are regular and mechanical. We should leave our dreams to the time we sleep.

Achieving a dream is very dependant on lot of other factors including opportunities. It depends on fate. If you have a dream, by all means go after it, but do not bet on its success!

All that glitters is not gold!

Have your ever wondered how it would be living someone else's life? May be this question comes to your mind either because the other person is better than you, or in a worse position or simply out of curiosity. I have a comment in my year book written by a classmate of mine. She, who shall not be named, wrote that in her next birth she will want to be me :) Flattered, I was, but that aside it was strange. Why would somebody want to be me?

Living the life of another person is not a good idea though simply because you are not meant for it. Every person has his or her own burden to bear. For example, you may see this person shopping at an upscale store and think what it would be to live that person's life and buying at that store. But think about it this way, may be that person has a 90k credit card debt, and is a complusive shopper. Thank god you are not in that place.

Everything that appears need not be what it is. As they say "All that glitters is not gold!" Always remember when life is not going too well, there is nobody who can handle it better than you. Never wish you were somebody else because that somebody would not be able to handle the tests of your life. And never ask for somebody else's life, because you won't be able to pull the load of their life!

Happy New Year!

A new year has just begun......A new year brings an anticipation for change. But really only a few things change. Most of the things in our lives remain the same. Every year I grow a year older and may be wiser - nothing new in that. I live in the same place and dont plan to go anywhere. I will be doing the same things I did last year and the year before that.

For me new year has been a time of retrospection. A time to understand my mistakes of the last year. A time to relish life changing events. And after all a new year is just another date in the calendar....just another measure with units......just another point on a time graph.....just another reason to celebrate...just another reason to write a blog post !!!

Happy New Year to everyone. And dont forget the 2009 in the cheques you write!

Who said......

"Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever" ? I asked Maya, an pat came the reply - M.K. Gandhi :)

Throughout school history we have lived on a "Gandian" diet. Each page in our 10th class history book had the name "Gandhi". Growing up in India I loved having a holiday on Oct. 2 - Mr. Gandhi's b'day and Jan. 30, Matyr's day - though he did not die fighting for the freedom of India! But thats about the end of it. They (the history books) say that M.K Gandhi was killed by a mad man, Nathuram Godse. Politicians have demonzied Godse. Anyway according to Godse's guilty plea, he said he killed Gandhi because of the latter's policies being anti-Hindu. Which may be true, obviously we wont know all that happened and we cannot trust the history books.

So...back to my post ....I wrote this post about M.K. Gandhi because I wanted to share the photo below that is from a place 8 mins from where I live. Its a statue of Gandhi and it is in the city of Sherborn, Massachusetts!

When I write about Gandhi, I have to write about Godse, because as I said... I don't trust history books written by politicians!

Enlightenment!

It is a well known story that Prince Siddartha left all his duties and sat under the "bodhi tree" and attained enlightenment. So how did he get this enligthenment? The books will say by meditation. What did he meditate on? Hard to say, because the great Buddha himself did not reveal it.

Yoga teaches us one form of meditation. In this form of meditation, you train your mind to concentrate nsomething, like your breathing. But is this kind of meditation enough for enlightenment? I guess not. As human beings our minds constantly work overtime. So many thoughts in such little space! Concentration is difficult and besides once it is gone, we are back to our normal thoughts.

So how should I meditate? Here's my two cents of knowledge on how to meditate:
First find a time when you have absolutely nothing to do.....say a couple of hours. Then find a quite place, the best place may be the restroom. (No offense to the great souls, I am just keeping up with the times!) Take a deep breath and exhale, clear your respiratory system. Close your eyes and try not to sleep. Now summon the first thought. Think about it analyze it, express you opinion to your thought. Once you have dwelled on it enough, dismiss it. Then call on the next thought and do the same thing. A few thoughts a day clears your mind to an extent.

We have so many thoughts. To clear each one of them will take years. So now you know why the great souls spent many years meditating before they became enlightened!

My Grandparents

Since my last post, life has changed permanently! God sent Kriti into our lives. There is a very strange connection between my children and my grandfather. Arjun was born on his English B'day and Kriti on his Tamil B'day! I hope my children have all his good qualities.

Grandparents form an important part of our lives. Sometimes as important as raising a kid without the child's parents being around like our president-elect Barack Obama. In my life grandparents have not played that important a role, because of living in a different city.

I do not remember the time I spent with my maternal g'father. He passed away when I was only 4. Amma says I troubled him a lot when Maya was born. Paati and thatha took care of me entirely when Mwas born. I always had a special bond with paati. I was her first grandchild and she loved me. She used to buy me anything I asked for and also cook all that I liked. I loved her idli and molaha podi. No one can make it like her. Paati also made thertipal and maaladu everytime I visited her house. Paati is my best childhood memory of a grandmother. I thank her for great memories. Now, though I must say, things have changed, she has moved on. She has other grandchildren whom she loves, they are with her. I think I just exist for her, nothing more.

I do not have any childhood memories with my paternal grandparents. We visited them every summer vacation. But thats all I remember. I had cousins who were closer my grandparents. Maya and I were almost insignificant. We were the "outsiders". Anyway as time passed, and we grew older, my cousins moved out and did not have time to spend with thatha and paati. Paati didnt talk much anyway. Till today I have not sat down and had a conversation with her. Till today I dont know if she likes Maya and me. Thatha I guess yearned to talk to his grandchildren and I was the only one who listened to him. He told me many stories from the days of the Raj. He was very happy with my marriage and was there to bless me on my wedding day. After I came to the US is called him, but towards the end, I was not allowed to talk to him, "others" would answer the call and say he couldnt talk. I did not believe them. I believe they never told him I called. He passed away in about 9 months after my wedding.

Anyway, on his last b'day I didnt call him and wish him, because I knew those "others" will not let me talk to my thatha. And I did not want to talk to those "others". I feel bad that I couldnt wish him on his last b'day. So I think thats why Arjun was born his b'day, so that I always celebrate the day for the rest of my life!

इन दिनों ......

मुझे अपने "ब्लॉग" देखे बहुत दिन हो गए है! पिछले दो महीने मैंने अपने आप को खोजने में लगाया है - "जानकी : एक खोज"

अपने बारे में लिखना बहुत ही कठिन है। मुझे यह नही पता मुझमे ऐसा क्या अद्भुत है ..... मुझमे लोगों को साथ ले चलने की शक्ति है की नही ...मुझे यह भी नही पता मैं जो कर रही हूँ वोह क्यूँ कर रही हूँ...फिर भी मैं सूखे पत्ते की तरह हवा के साथ चली जा रही हूँ.....शायद यह भागवान की इच्छा है... इस सफर के लक्ष्य पर पहुँचने पर मैं अपना यह "ब्लॉग -पोस्ट अपडेट" करुँगी।

Kurai Onrum Illai

Titbits : This song was composed my Rajaji. It was sung by MS Subbulakshmi at her United Nations concert in 1969 arranged by the then UN Undersecretary-general C V Narasimhan.

Dedication: This song is dedicated my dear Arjun who wants this song sung at 4am and that too in my voice!

kurai onrum illai marai moortthi kannaa

kurai onrum illai kannaa

kurai onrum illai govindaa

kannukku theriyaamal nirkinraay kannaa kannukku theriyaamal ninraalum enakku kurai onrum illai marai moortthi kannaa

vendiyathai thannthida venkatesan enrirukka vendiyathu verillai marai moortthi kannaa manivannaa malayappa govindaa govindaa

thiraiyin pin nirkinraay kannaa, kanna thiraiyin pin nirkinraay kannaa, unnai marai odum nyaaniyar mattume kaanpaar thiraiyin pin nirkinraay kannaa, unnai marai odum nyaaniyar mattume kaanpaar enraalum kurai onrum enakkillai kannaa enraalum kurai onrum enakkillai kannaa

kunrin mel kallaaki nirkinra varadaa kunrin mel kallaaki nirkinra varadaa kurai onrum illai marai moortthi kannaa kurai onrum illai marai moortthi kannaa manivannaa malaiappaa govindaa govindaa

kali naalukkirangi kallile irangi nilaiyaaga kovilil nirkinraay kesavaa kali naalukkirangi kallile irangi nilaiyaaga kovilil nirkinraay kesavaa kurai onrum illai marai moortthi kannaa

yaathum marukkaatha malaiyappaa - un maarbil edum thara nirkum karunai kadal annai enrum irunthida edu kurai enakku enrum irunthida edu kurai enakku onrum kurai illai marai moortthi kannaa manivannaa malaiappaa govindaa govindaa govindaa govindaa